Up all night on adderall and I’ve lost my entire soul.

 So… this sucks - and has to change. 


I’m writing this on my phone in a bunk bed at a sober retreat. I think I realize this every time I do adderall - but / it’s fun while it lasts and it’s miserable to come down off of. 

Every. Single. Time.


Even if I get work done and have social interactions where I seem smart, confident, and cool - the next day I still hate myself - because that wasn’t really me.


I’m actually going to rehab Monday. My YouTube audience doesn’t know yet. 

I’m such an addict that I literally bought adderall and klonopin before hanging out with people in AA. 


I hate this. People are waking up -no can hear them. My shoulders tense up every time I hear a noise. 


This has to end. I’m not even going to make this a good blog post. I can not do this anymore.


Rehab please save me. 

Comments

  1. Dirty OpossumMarch 13, 2023 at 1:12 AM

    I truly hope you're okay and doing well in rehab.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dirty OpossumMarch 13, 2023 at 1:12 AM

    🖤🖤🖤

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownApril 13, 2023 at 8:45 AM

    Followed your journey on YouTube Brandon, and was worried that you hadn't uploaded anything in a while. Glad to read this post about you checking yourself into Rehab. Are you able to give us an update via this blog post, or your YouTube channel, just anything man. There were, and still are so many people rooting for you. God bless, from the UK.

    ReplyDelete
  4. SlaterBugJune 29, 2023 at 2:52 AM

    I hope he's okay too. I'm just a bit worried because the post is better than six months old. But better than nothing!

    ReplyDelete
  5. jeremiahdoeringAugust 2, 2023 at 7:31 AM

    Sometimes treatment can last a long time and often migrates to sober living housing. It might be a condition of his program that he isn't allowed to use media. Just a guess.

    ReplyDelete
  6. CrispinGloverNovember 25, 2023 at 1:33 PM

    It's been over a year. Wish you well, friend.

    ReplyDelete

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